Getting ready for a Fresh Start

Well it is under 60 minutes before we ring in the New Year, reflecting on 2005 is kinda weird as it is really my first time to really stand back a take stock of how the year went. It was definately a busy year with Z's play groups and activities. A's school, soccer & obsession with X Box and DH's business trips. Then there was the crazy summer we had with surprise visits from my family, family from overseas, summer camps our trip to the rock and then back to school full time for both kids.

Here I was thinking I would have some time for me but it just isn't working out that way. DH has decided he needs me at his office so I am doing what I can plus the usual. I have been attempting to carve out my own time with scrapping and curves but it has been somewhat of a struggle. I am now able to go on Field Trips with both kids and I have also been volunterring at the school - teaching scrapbooking as part of art class. That has been an adventure LOL.

Now there is the newest development of MIL moving in with us. Not sure yet if it is to be long term and that decision will definately have to be hers. It's great that she can spend more time with my kids and help them and myself with arabic but I am expecting it is also going to add more to my little time as well. I will leave that alone and let it work out for itself.

All in all 2005 was a good year but I think I will work at 2006 being a much better, and more productive year.

To all my scrappin' pals - So glad I got to meet and scrap with many of you and looking forward to getting together with more in the coming year.

Wishing you all health Happiness and prosperity in the coming year!!!

Here's a summary of 2005 Lifted from my Dear Friend Barb!!! Thanks Barb :o)

Major events/happenings:
1. Trip to NFLD to see my family
2. Family from Kuwait for the Summer
3. Break Up of my oldest Brothers Marriage
4. RIS Conference & Concert
5. Sister moves back home so much farther away from me

Regrets:
1. Spending too much time online
2. Procrastinating in my weight loss program yet again
3. Not being as organized as I would like
4. Wishing my sister and her family lived closer
5. Being short tempered a lot more than usual

New things I've done:
1. Started a blog
2. Started working at DH's office - not sure how I feel about that yet LOL
3. Joined Curves and totally loving it
4. Made some wonderful scrapping friends
5. Attended all Field Trips for my kids - I can do that now that both are at school full time.

Passionate about:
1. My Family
2. Scrapbooking
3. Gardening
4. Shopping
5. Sleep LOL

Too much/many:
1. Clutter but have been working on that - Goodwill/Consignment Shops here I come LOL
2. Time spent online
3. Pieces of the kids art and paper from the school - Thinking I am going to put all I REALLY want to keep in a binder and allow them 1 binder per year!
4. Black clothing in my closet
5. popsicles - left over from the summer

Wishes for 2006:
1. A healthier and fitter me
2. Happy kids
3. Healthy family
4. Date nights with DH
5. A Baby? not so sure about that yet LOL
6. Work more on reading arabic and the Qu'ran

An Emotional Time....

Well as you know I spent the Christmas weekend in TO and I got the chance to do a bit of Christmas giving of my own. On the 24th after we finished up at the Conference, while I was waiting for my DH to return I decided to call my oldest brother who happens to be going through a rough time right now - seperated and on the way to divorce from his wife of 17 years.

Anyway he is on his own and definately finding it difficult at this time of year. I decided that we would go and see him as he is in the GTA. I didn't previously tell him I would be in the area as it was unclear if I could make it and I didn't want to upset him. Well, when I called and dropped the bomb that I was coming there was such a heavy silence I am sure you could have knocked him over with a feather. I heard the catch in his voice as he struggled to keep it all together. After I got the directions to his new place I hung up and we prepared to go out for dinner and head to his house. BTW food ended upbeing Indian LOL. So off we go to Brampton. I refused to go to his house empty handed (we only give to the kids now) So I make DH search out a Shoppers where I promptly dropped some $60.00 in Christmas goodies.

When I get to his apartment and unload my stuff I give my dear big brother a huge hug and ask him if he was ok? His answer.... "I am now that you are here" Talk about your heart squeeze!!!! Little did I know that after I had spoken to him he had called my Mother and the floodgates opened. He was so excited and emotional that I would take the time away from the conference to visit him on Christmas Eve. Mom told me that he had said if I had told him I couldn't drive to Brampton he would have drove downtown to see us. Ahhhh DB I do love you and so wish that you weren't going through all this crap!!!

Well I am almost through....

...yet another Christmas, and I am actually surviving it ok. I think it helps that I am not at home this year. We decided to take in an Islamic Conference in TO and to tell you the truth it is just what the Dr. ordered. LOL

Kick that meloncholy in the butt I say. I am not running from my feelings in fact I discuss it quite openly - emotions and all with DH and he is very understanding and supportive. So much to the point that he is willing for me to go home for the Holidays. Funny thing is I don't really want to because there is so much more of me that isn't Christmas as well. Somethimes I just don't understand what I am feeling myself so how do I explain it, or put it into words?

Anyway, I am really enjoying the Conference with the varied topics and the shopping in the Grand Souk, so far I spent more than I intended.. as usual LOL. Right now I am waiting for DH to get back to the hotel so we can drive around TO looking for a place to have dinner LOL me thinks it will be Indian or Malay for dinner. After that I think we will got see my oldest brother for a bit.

To all my dear friends who celebrate Christmas - I wish you all the very best and beauty of the season, I hope you have your dreams fulfilled. I hope you all are blessed with peace, health and happiness in the coming New Year.

I also hope we can get together real soon to Scrap!!!!:o)

Love to you all - I feel so blessed to have met so many wonderful Scrappin friends over the past year!!!

Sorry I have been MIA for posting on my Blogg...

But I kinda get meloncholy this time of year and try really hard to fight it. Despite the fact that I truly believe in Islam and being Muslim there is still a small part of my heart that misses the beauty, hype and sense of family that was Christmas for me.

It seems to be a bit of a struggle each year, some years more than others.

Don't get me wrong, I love being Muslim and wouldn't change it for a minute but sometime don't you just want to have it all? Yeah selfish I know but oh well!!!

So what else is going on with me at the moment???? Trying to keep my sanity! LOL My kids are home for the break so been busy entertaining them. Yesterday we took in Chicken Little - cute movie but could be a little scary for little munchkins! Today I am still debating on baking with them or a craft. Will see how the morning progresses.

NOW I know why.....

some animals eat their young!!!!

LMAO Ok I promise I won't eat them but I was pretty darn close yesterday I can tell you that. My dear kids had a PD day yesterday, ok Monday is bad enough as it is but throw a PD day on top of it and #$&?!#^ !!!! I had to go to Costco, I needed to get food so off we go but before leaving the house I did read the riot act to them! I promised them YES we could look at the toys but NO they couldn't buy anything!! Cripes it is only a month ago that they had a big holiday with gifts, what more do they want? DS wasn't so bad when it came to asking for toys DD was a totally other story - everything she wanted - I mean EVERYTHING!!! And it make it all worse we have another holiday coming up in January!!!

Besides the nagging for the toys they were at each other constantly, picking and annoying, whatever they could think of. Trips like this totally remind me why I never go shopping with my kids. My blood pressure, I am sure went throught the roof and I think I turned into Nasty Mom. I hate Nasty Mom, she is just not a nice person and not fun to be around. I don't want my kids to remember Nasty Mom at all!! OK rant over the kids are in school today and I can be nice again but oh no, wait....they will be home for 2 weeks starting the 16th AKKKKKKKKKKKKKk insantity here I come!!!!

Thinking I gotta get me a big master plan and a lotta $$ to keep them entertained for those 2 weeks... other than the movies and the museums anybody have any ideas???? All help muchly appreiated!!!

Ever Wonder about Doctors???

So I have this stupid infection below the skin on my jaw. I take myself off to the Doc on Tuesday to have it treated, my own Doc is off on that day so I see another at her office. He gives me a prescription and tells me to use cold compresses (I was previously using hot on my own knowledge) Ok so he is supposed to know what is right...right???? Well not so right, nothing was happening, the infection should have shown signs of disappating after 6 doses but that wasn't happening, off to see my own Doc today, she prescribes a totally different drug and tells me to use hot compresses...what the *&()*&%*^%$&^#!!!! So now I am $70.00 out and still have a face from some horror movie!!!! Ok gotta be an upside right? Gotta see the glass half full is my philosophy so I have already taken some of the new meds and already am feeling a difference!!!

I think we need to revamp the medical system to be able reclaim $$ spent on mis-diagnosis!!!

PAIN!!!! Don'tcha hate it!!!!

So I have this stupid infection under the skin on my jaw. I am not normally a whinner and can usually tolerate pain to a certain extent but gosh I tell you this is knocking me out. The only visible factor of this infection is that I look like I have the Hunch Back of Notre Dame's back sitting on my jaw!!!! :o( I am now on antibiotics but I guess it will take 48 hours for there to be any noticable effect. Crap it hurts, I can barely open my mouth...guess that is a good thing for my diet LOL. Besides the meds, I am downing advil to combate the pain, last night I decided I couldn't handle it so I went off to lala land with some demerol. Weird thing is that not only is in painful but it also has a burny feeling to it. I hate not feeling well - certainly makes you think about people who live their lives with chronic pain!!!

BTW it is HUMP day !!!! Yeahhhhhh Have a great day!!!!

Scrappin' with friends...

Is always a blast!!!! I wish I could do it a whole lot more. Not that I get a whole lot accomplished mind you LOL but it is always fun to get together to see what friends are doing, see what is in their stash and to share(snort, snort lmao)!!!! Got together with some dear friends on Friday (a few couldn't make it :o( ) But we still had a good time. Hoping to do it again in the near future!!!

TAGGED......AGAIN!!!!!

By the self confessed human... Barb!!! LOL Love ya hon

Ok 5 Random Facts about me

1. I am a closet Romance book reader but not as bad as I used to be!!!
2. I am a horrible procrastinator and will get things done under pressure!
3. I love chocolate, especially orange and mint flavors
4. I covered my hair under my own steam, in fact Ra'ed had no clue that I was going to do it!
5. I spend far too much time on the computer!

OK now who to Tag this time....I am limited as I don't know a whole lot of BLOGGERS yet.....Hmmmm MARLENE you it!!!!!

ANYONE......?

...Care to tell me why I have this empty space instead of having my sidebar beside my posts????? Can't seem to figure what I have done wrong!

....AND to Top It All OFF......

We spent 3.5 hours at CHEO last night :o( !!!

Ok so everything seemed ok, Zaynab had the sniffles, nothing right? I taught Scrapbooking to the grade 8 class yesterday afternoon and the kids got to be car kids instead of bus kids for the afternoon. Then we had a plan...Bobba is still away on business so we would goof off...McD's for an early dinner then off to Blockbuster for some movies and munchies and then home. 20 minutes to tidy up, everybody in their jammies and then we settle in for a night of movies.

Simple right???
Well not to be....

...Zaynab started to complain about her left ear around 6:30pm and at 7pm I gave her some Tylenol - Never fails...if my kids are going to get an ear infection it has to have 2 criteria:

1) be at night and
2) on the weekend.

I figured that this was just the start of it so maybe we could last until the morning when I would take her to the clinic....ear infection had other plans!!! :o(.

She slept fitfully for a bit, then the pain I guess got so intense that she couldn't rest and was crying so much there was no calming her. So we all get dressed to head to CHEO...OOPs stop on the way out the door for the little monkey to throw up - YUK!!!

Then off to CHEO we go :o( ......lucky me!!!...an emergency came in just before we got there and then 2 more in the span of time it took for us to get registered. When I finally got inside to do the actual registration, wrist band and parking slip I managed to mention the clinic in the back.

I have a suspecion that not everyone knows about it so they don't always offer it. Anyway poor Zaynab was crying so much that it just added creadence to my comment. So we sit for all of 5 minutes and then get summoned to the clinic. Of course we still have to wait a while but hey, at least it is not out in the main room where God knows what kind of germs are coming in! Also we were the only ones waiting in the waiting room. I figure this is a big ear infection cause my kids magicaly seem to feel better once they haul my butt out in the middle of the night to go to CHEO!!!

Once inside, they do the usual - Nurse..., wait...,Advil..., wait..., Med Student..., wait..., Doctor..., wait..., Confirmation of what I already knew..., wait..., codine..., wait..., prescription..., then we are off!!!

Ok off we go now to the drug store to fill said prescriptions. It is heading for midnight so I am hoping to get there on time...I do...BUT both kids are asleep in the car...CRAP, ok I leave them and run into the pharmacy, put in the prescription, gotta wait at least 15 minutes. So I run out to check on my kids...alll is ok. I run back in to get other cough & cold medicine. Can't stand being caught without it!! Ok run back to the car, check on the kiddies. Abdullah knew that I would do this if they fell asleep. He is almost 10 so I figure I can do it, even though it makes me panic. I believe I made at least 4 trips to my car in the span of 15 minutes, while waiting for the prescription!

So we go home, get the kids in the house and Zaynab off to bed. After all the meds you would think I would be able to get some of the sleep I was looking forward to. I usually don't sleep well when Ra'ed is away - I am not nervous or afraid - just can't seem to get my butt to bed at a decent hour! Well that was not to be either! Zaynab was up every hour AKKKK!! couldn't breath, needed to pee, pain started to increase etc. Medicated her as much as I could safely do so but this was an ear infection that blew up very quickly so I am guessing it was extra painful!

Ok breath Debbie, Ra'ed is due to be home around dinner time - relief is in sight - phone rings 7:30am - missed the flight - CRAAAAAP!!! can't get a flight until tomorrow!!! Thanks a bunch Ra'ed- couldn't you just read the itenary??? I tell him of my wonderful night, he sympathizies but it is out of his hands right now. Hang up, go back to sleep, phone rings again - managed to get another flight with a partner airline will be home earlier than the original ticket... AKKKK the house is a mess and I am exhausted...so I rack him over the coals for now coming home!!! Poor guy he is confused I am sure...a bad case of damned if you do , damned if you don't LOL!!!

Ok Zaynab falls back to sleep, I give Abdullah instructions on how his morning is to proceed while I sleep for about 2 hours. Time to get up and put the house back together - that's what happens when you do for 4 days what husbands think SAHMS do all day!!!LOL Got it all done, Zaynab slept through most of it - poor little monkey, it is a bad infection cause the ear is actually oozing this time!

OK so he is home Thank God - hopefully things will at least feel less stressful but guess what he is doing? yup that's right....sleeping!!! Oh the life of a man!!!!

TAGGED!!!!!!

Gosh ya don't give a girl a chance to get use to this thing do ya Barb?!!!LOL So I have been tagged...now what do I do??? Oh yeah I get it go to Barbs BLOG and grab the questions to answer.....back in sec .....................................................................................................................
............................................................................................................................. ok I am back LOL with the necessary information!!!

2 names you go by
1. Debbie
2. Momma

2 parts of your heritage
1. Canadian
2. Newfie LOL

2 things that scare you
1. losing my kids
2. losing my parents

2 of your everyday essentials
1. roseacea cream
2. internet

2 things you are wearing right now
1. hijab
2. wedding ring

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
1. Enya
2. ? Not really particular as long as it isn't head banging stuff lol

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex)
1. "smiling" eyes
2. height

2 of your favorite hobbies (besides scrapbooking??)
1. working out (curves)
2. baking

2 things you want to do before you die
1. See my kids happy and settled in their own lives
2. hold grandchildern from both of my kids

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick
1. love to get my hair done
2. love pretty things

2 things you are thinking about now
1. I will be so happy when Ra'ed comes home tomorrow!
2. I should have gone to bed earlier last night!

2 things you want really badly
1. a digi with a higher zoom
2. a "me" holiday

2 places you want to go on vacation
1. Middle East
2. scrapbooking spa retreat (stole this from Barb, it sounds divine but I would want to go with friends)

2 favorite songs (at the moment)
1. Dance with my Father again
2. ?

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
1. trust
2. respect

2 truths
1. I work well under pressure.
2. I hate the mess my kids make but I am sure I will miss it when they don't do it!.

2 stores you shop at
1. Laura
2. Cotton Ginny

2 people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Rachel
2. Sonya S

Happy Friday Everyone!!!

PLANS GONE AWRY!!!

Ok so the plan was DH was going out of town on a business trip and I was going to scrap like crazy right? WRONG!!!!! I am now a full time working single Mom until the weekend!!! As my wonderful friend Barb would say..
... AKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!

Man I am exhausted, I have no idea how you working Mom's pull this off. As it is I come into the office at 9am and leave again to be home in time for the kids to get off the bus, so some time between 3 and 3:30. When they get home life is all about them until 9pm. So then I get to scrap right? Hell no!!! I am too exhausted to be creative, even in the CM sense of creative!!! So no scrapping, house is a disaster, don't want to cook yada, yada, yada can't wait to get together with some friends to crop!!!

Ok that is off my chest so now it is time to look at the glass half full- the upside is that I have been able to play with my BLOG a bit and to surf on the net in between doing some work!!!!

More on being a temporary single Mom.......
I value my husband, I love my husband and despite how little it sometimes appears to me that he contributes to the running and organization of our family life he is a huge factor for us. He does shoulder much more than I always realize. I always knew subconsciously he did but with him away it is that much more tangible. Also, even with the 2 kids in the house the night time silence is deafening. It was so very quiet the first night that I even went to be sure that the furnace was still working LOL. Oh hurry back to us Ra'ed, I miss you

Ok I finally did it!!!!

Ok this is gonna take a bit cause I am not so very techie but I am attempting to do this BLOG thing LOL!!!